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Skinny

by Corina Corina

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about

I've always been a songwriter but over a decade into my recovery from anorexia, I still hadn’t written a song about it. I had never made any public statement about my story and every time I met a new person, the question of "when do I tell them?” Ran through my head. That all changed one day out of nowhere. I was in Brooklyn on the 5 Train between Franklin Ave and Borough Hall when I wrote “Skinny.” Perhaps more accurately, “Skinny” wrote itself. The whole song passed through me in a matter of minutes and I recorded a rough demo of it in the studio that same day. It was the hardest song I’ve ever recorded. My palms were sweaty and I could hardly breathe. My producer, God bless him, was so patient with me and allowed me the space to be open and vulnerable to ensure the song felt as authentic as possible.

“Skinny” changed everything. That summer, I celebrated my 12 years of recovery. Instead of celebrating with my loved ones the way I normally do, I wrote. I wrote about how bittersweet it is to celebrate something that I still struggle with every single day and I over and over, I must keep surrendering to my higher power. I submitted the piece to Elephant Journal and when it was published, I shared it on Facebook. For the first time ever, I celebrated my recovery not just with an intimate group of people but also with everyone who follows me. The support was incredible! Almost overnight I went from struggling and recovering in secret to being a public recovery warrior.

Recording "Skinny” transformed my life. I was able to re visit my darkest days and paint a real depiction of how it feels to be trapped by such a catastrophic disease. That feeling of powerlessness was still deep inside me somewhere and through this song I was able to let it speak. Although recovery from this disease is still a daily challenge creating a piece of art to reflect my experience feels a hell of a lot more potent to me than the shame surrounding my disease. For this I am eternally grateful.



To read more published work about my recovery, head to my blog!

corina-corina.com/blog/

lyrics

different on the outside but the same lonely girl

all the effort and obsession what was it all for?

thin beautiful and white they must think i'm solid gold

but you'd be hard pressed to find somebody more miserable

cause these things are never what they seem to be

it didn't look a thing like it did in my dreams

inside me there's no life i'll never attain my goals

no light behind my eyes i'm disconnected from my soul

i don't care about music lately i'm too weak to sing

aside from weighing myself don't do much of anything

down to a size four but nobody loves me more

different on the outside but the same lonely girl

everybody tells us to be skinny

i've been skinny

all it ever did was keep me busy

being skinny

my friends don't recognize me when they see me on the street

but i'm being approached by model scouts and agencies

can barely wrap my head around the irony

i'm starving to death but they're rewarding me

i don't feel like a woman barely look like an adult

my hair is falling out and i shiver from the cold

no babies in my future cause my organs have rebelled

some people die of cancer i died from hating myself

everybody tells us to be skinny

i've been skinny

all it ever did was keep me busy

being skinny

always in the gym and counting calories

to stay skinny

the perfect way to consume and distract me

all the effort and obsession what was it all for?

credits

released February 27, 2018
Written by Corina Corina (ASCAP)

Produced by Willie Green (BMI)

Executive Produced by Corina Corina for Know Better Music (ASCAP)

Recorded, mixed & mastered by Willie Green for Paul Womack Media (BMI) and recorded the The GreenHouse

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about

Corina Corina image

Corina Corina Brooklyn, New York

Vocalist Corina Corina was born in Oakland, CA, & has made her career in NYC. This gifted songwriter brings a fresh vocal hybrid to modern R&B with strong blues & hip hop influences.

Her lyrically-driven content touches on everything from gender inequality to self-love & resisting social norms.

She has independently released 2 full-length albums with creative partner, Willie Green. ... more

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